Only I Understand
Only I can feel
Emotions with claws,
Scraping at my brain,
Or twisting it like a rope,
Until it breaks.
I hear it,
Screaming,
Crying,
Laughing,
Threatening to escape.
Only I can hear,
These shrieks like a boomerang,
Bouncing inside my head,
Like annoying kids knocking at the door.
I hate you!
I love you!
Leave me alone!
Can you stay?
Only I can understand,
The pain,
Like knives piercing through,
And tired arms,
Carrying boulders,
Of yesterday or years before,
Threatening to bury me.
My sore legs,
Who’ve been dragging me,
Slowly forward.
My heart,
Continues to bleed,
Like a wounded dog,
Howling for help.
Only I can understand,
The happiness,
Like sunshine on the sea,
It’s bright glow on the golden beach,
I can smell the salt in the air
Can feel the crunch of sand beneath my feet,
For once letting me close my eyes,
Wrapping me up,
Like a warm burrito,
Like a caring grandmother,
Patching the brokenness in me.
Talk about it,
They say,
As if it’s easy,
As if they really,
Just maybe,
Care.
But I know they don’t,
They don’t know about
The hurricane,
The knives,
Nor the sunshine.
At the end of the day,
Only I know.
Only I know the hurricane.
Only I know the knives.
Only I know the heavy boulders.
Only I know the sunshine,
Only I.